I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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