I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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