Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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