This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize