I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
