no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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