Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
