oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
