this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
