i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize