Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
