you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
