So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Randomize
