In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
