You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
