in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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