Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
