don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
