We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize