Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
