Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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