just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
