I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
