I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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