im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
