HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
