i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
