Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize