cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
