the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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