Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
