ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
