i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
