Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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