so that wasnt chicken after all
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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