The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
