Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Farmville is her only friend.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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