tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
