I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
