i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
