so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
