My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
