just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
