All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
