I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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