is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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