There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
