Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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