and you said cock pushups were impossible
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
