She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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