I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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