so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
