did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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