it was like eating out sand paper
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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