I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
