My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize