If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
