Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize