North Korea, Best Korea!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
