I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
